Today is October 10.
Today I have been back in the US for the same amount of time that I was in Nicaragua. That feels significant.
I think most people have seen me jump back into my work and my fast paced schedule quickly. I've stayed busy. I've pushed forward. I haven't stopped. I've worked really hard to try to catch ip on 5 months of work that was hard to accomplish from another country. It has helped me to feel like I have a handle on things again.. after such a very long time of helplessly feeling like every single detail of life was completely out of my control. We've figured out how to manage our work schedules while whisking around this sweet baby girl-turned toddler. We've traveled to see family. We've been in countless doctors and therapy and specialist appointments. Yeah, I've done a lot in the 5 months that I've been back.
But there's also quite a bit that I have not done.
I gave myself some grace months to solely focus on work and getting Valley adjusted. I told myself once we've been home for just as long as I was gone, I would need to scale up my efforts. Now, here we are.
I have not made myself mentally process anything. Being in another country and not able to leave for an undefined amount of time was fairly traumatic. Things with our court date and visa got so scary towards the end of being in Nicaragua that I am fairly sure I've experienced some post-traumatic stress, where your brain tries to block things out. For these months, I've let that happen. I've only shared updates via short Instagram snippets, and been totally ok with that. However, I'm really aware that there are lots of people out there who are in the middle of adoption processes, or are considering international adoption in the future who scour the internet looking for the experiences of others. I want to share our experience in a meaningful way, and will organize my brain enough to do so.
Friends - I have not seen you. I am so sorry. Like, maybe I've seen you in passing, but I have yet to carve out time to really see you. I've contented myself to be around people and friends who already find themselves built into my routine. But to everyone else - please still be my friend, you are wanted and needed in our lives!!!
I recently caught myself thinking about things I missed about being in Nicaragua. Thank God, my mind is healing. I'm finding myself beginning to feel thankful for our time there, and all of the special things that we did. Even the many long, long, long days where we did nothing. I'm thankful that Valley's home country was a home to me for a while, and I can actually look forward to a time when we will go back.
Today I have been back in the US for the same amount of time that I was in Nicaragua. That feels significant.
I think most people have seen me jump back into my work and my fast paced schedule quickly. I've stayed busy. I've pushed forward. I haven't stopped. I've worked really hard to try to catch ip on 5 months of work that was hard to accomplish from another country. It has helped me to feel like I have a handle on things again.. after such a very long time of helplessly feeling like every single detail of life was completely out of my control. We've figured out how to manage our work schedules while whisking around this sweet baby girl-turned toddler. We've traveled to see family. We've been in countless doctors and therapy and specialist appointments. Yeah, I've done a lot in the 5 months that I've been back.
But there's also quite a bit that I have not done.
I gave myself some grace months to solely focus on work and getting Valley adjusted. I told myself once we've been home for just as long as I was gone, I would need to scale up my efforts. Now, here we are.
I have not made myself mentally process anything. Being in another country and not able to leave for an undefined amount of time was fairly traumatic. Things with our court date and visa got so scary towards the end of being in Nicaragua that I am fairly sure I've experienced some post-traumatic stress, where your brain tries to block things out. For these months, I've let that happen. I've only shared updates via short Instagram snippets, and been totally ok with that. However, I'm really aware that there are lots of people out there who are in the middle of adoption processes, or are considering international adoption in the future who scour the internet looking for the experiences of others. I want to share our experience in a meaningful way, and will organize my brain enough to do so.
Friends - I have not seen you. I am so sorry. Like, maybe I've seen you in passing, but I have yet to carve out time to really see you. I've contented myself to be around people and friends who already find themselves built into my routine. But to everyone else - please still be my friend, you are wanted and needed in our lives!!!
I recently caught myself thinking about things I missed about being in Nicaragua. Thank God, my mind is healing. I'm finding myself beginning to feel thankful for our time there, and all of the special things that we did. Even the many long, long, long days where we did nothing. I'm thankful that Valley's home country was a home to me for a while, and I can actually look forward to a time when we will go back.
